Dating advice comes from all angles, but not all of it is good advice. Every relationship is different, but some behaviors should be avoided, regardless.
- If you like somebody, don’t let them know it.
We’re all familiar with the “3 day rule” where you wait a few days to call after a first date, but in today’s fast-paced world, this can be a grave mistake. Research shows that, while people are more attracted to those they believe to be selective daters, research also shows that people like people who like them. So, without coming on too strong, don’t be afraid to send that text and let somebody know you’re thinking about them.
- When you meet the right person, sparks will fly.
This is an extremely limited viewpoint on human relationships. Bonding, intimacy, and love happen over time and, often, these “sparks” are sheer attraction. Lust isn’t necessarily associated with compatibility because it’s often a projection of one’s own feelings onto another. It might be comforting to hear that when you meet The One, you’ll magically know it, but it might be more comforting to know that bonds form over time and cannot be rushed. So be patient. They’re out there.
- Separate activities mean separate lives.
Time alone is not only a healthy habit, it’s a key component to maintaining relationships. When one or both parties consistently sublimate their own needs, this can breed resentment. Like most things in life, it’s important to focus on balance. Maintaining relationships with friends and family, your partner, and the relationship you have with yourself is essential. It’s okay to take that solo trip or spend a day all alone; by maintaining our identity, independent from others, we are better able to contribute to the emotional balance of any relationship.